Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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