He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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