Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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