He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize