wakey wakey hands off snakey
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
