i think my tv is drunk
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
