You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
