Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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