i already hear my dad disowning me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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