Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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