I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
