you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
