So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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