just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
