We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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