there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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