There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
