Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
