i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
