im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
