Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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