So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
