So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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