i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
