Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Randomize
