we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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