i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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