Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
