I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
