a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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