I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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