New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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