I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
