hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
