just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think your dad took our porno
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
