Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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