really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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