then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize