I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
