WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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