Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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