he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
