Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize