my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
