So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
