My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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