after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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