People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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