don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
