pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
as a side note pls kill me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
