Dual....:-)
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize