id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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