Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
