we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
