That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
