It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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