Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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