I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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