We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
