I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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