i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
