Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
