You smell like a Billy Joel song
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
