More tranny stories later!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you made out with another girl for some wings
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
